Ever written down the same goals year after year, only to find yourself right back where you started? I’ve been there. For years, I was that girl writing down all the usual suspects: eat clean, meal prep, no sugar, work out five times a week. I was setting myself up for failure faster than a chocolate cake disappears at a birthday party.
This hit me like a ton of bricks last year when working with a client. She came to me frustrated – another year, another list of unmet goals. She had the usual list: meal prep every Sunday, work out 5 times a week, cut out sugar. Sound familiar? But when I asked why she wanted to make these changes, she paused and said, ‘I just want to feel like myself again.’
That’s when everything clicked. She wasn’t failing at her goals – she was chasing the wrong things.
The Reverse Engineering Method
Instead of focusing on WHAT we should do, let’s start with HOW we want to feel. Think about it:
- “I want to eat better” → “I want to feel in control of my food choices”
- “I need to exercise more” → “I want to feel strong and capable”
Let’s look at how this works in real life:
Example 1: The Classic “Eat Better” Goal
Old goal: I need to eat better and meal prep The feeling: Organized and prepared with food I feel most prepared when:
- My fridge isn’t playing hide and seek with healthy options
- I know what’s for dinner before I’m starving
- I have grab-and-go options ready Action steps: Sunday power hour, 3-3-3 meal planning system, emergency food stash
Example 2: The “Getting Fit” Goal
Old goal: I need to exercise more The feeling: Strong and capable I feel strongest when:
- I’ve moved my body early in the day
- I’m not rushing through workouts
- I have energy to keep up with my kids Action steps: 10-minute morning movement, protein by 8am, plan workouts like meetings
Example 3: The “Stop Night Snacking” Goal
Old goal: Stop eating after 7pm The feeling: Satisfied and in control in the evenings I feel most satisfied when:
- I’ve eaten enough during the day
- I’m not stressed when I get home
- I have a relaxing evening routine Action steps: Protein at every meal, 5-minute after-work decompression, evening tea ritual
Your Turn: Becoming a Feeling Detective
This week, grab a notebook and track:
- Your high moments (when you feel amazing)
- What did you eat?
- How did you move?
- Who were you with?
- What was happening?
- Your low moments (when you feel off)
- What led to these feelings?
- What was different about these times?
- What patterns do you notice?
Creating Your Reverse-Engineered Goal
- Write down your typical goal
- Identify the feeling you actually want
- List times you’ve felt that way before
- Create 3 small steps based on those moments
- Start with ONE step this week
Remember, this isn’t about being perfect – it’s about creating a life that feels good, one small change at a time. Because you’re a whole lot more capable than those voices in your head want you to believe.
Ready to flip the script on your goals? Share your reverse-engineered goal with me on Instagram @NiMiNutrition!
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