Let’s have a real conversation about something I see all the time: strong, capable women seriously underestimating themselves in the gym. You’re the same person who carries all the groceries in one trip (because two trips are for quitters!), rearranges furniture solo, and is the designated jar-opener in your household. Yet somehow, when you step into a workout space, those weights suddenly look intimidating.
The Disconnect
Why do we beast mode through daily life but shy away from the weight rack? Often, it comes down to three things:
- Uncertainty about proper form
- Fear of injury
- Old myths about women and weight training
Today, we’re breaking down exactly how to choose the right weights for your strength training journey. Because those tiny weights might be holding you back more than you realize.
Signs Your Weights Are Too Light
You might be ready to level up if:
- You’re planning your grocery list during sets
- You finish without breaking a sweat
- You could do these exercises all day
- There’s no challenge by the end of your set
Remember: If you’re not challenging your muscles, you’re not changing them.
Signs Your Weights Are Too Heavy
On the flip side, you might need to scale back if:
- Your form looks like a freestyle dance
- You’re holding your breath through reps
- You can’t control the weight going down
- You’re using more momentum than muscle
Finding Your Perfect Weight: The Step-by-Step Guide
Here’s exactly how to find the right weight for any exercise:
- Choose Your Starting Point
- Pick a weight you think you can handle
- Remember, you can always adjust up or down
- The 8-10 Rep Test
- Perform 8-10 repetitions of your exercise
- Pay attention to your form in a mirror
- Focus especially on those last two reps
- Evaluate Your Performance
- Could you easily do 3 more reps? Too light
- Did your form break down? Too heavy
- Last 2 reps challenging but doable? Perfect!
The Sweet Spot Strategy
You’ve found your sweet spot when:
- The last two reps are challenging but not impossible
- You can maintain proper form throughout
- You’re really working for it
- You feel accomplished after your set
Your Action Plan
Ready to level up your strength training? Here’s your game plan:
- Start with One Exercise
- Pick a single movement to assess
- Follow the steps above
- Record your starting weight
- Track Your Progress
- Keep notes on your weights and reps
- Pay attention to how you feel
- Reassess every 2-3 weeks
- Gradually Increase
- Once you can complete all sets with good form
- When the last two reps become easier
- Usually increment by 2-5 pounds for upper body
- And 5-10 pounds for lower body
Common Questions Answered
“Won’t lifting heavier make me bulky?” Building noticeable muscle takes serious dedication, specific nutrition, and usually some helpful genetics. What you WILL get is stronger, more defined, and more capable in your daily life.
“What if I can lift different weights on different days?” Welcome to being human! Some days you’re a superhero, other days getting out of bed is your biggest achievement. Listen to your body and adjust accordingly.
“Should I use the same weight for everything?” Different muscles, different weights! Your legs are naturally stronger than your arms, so you’ll probably use heavier weights for lower body exercises.
The Bottom Line
Choosing the right weights isn’t about ego or competing with anyone else. It’s about challenging yourself appropriately to build strength, confidence, and capability. Start where you are, trust your strength, and keep pushing forward one rep at a time.
Remember: Every strong woman you see at the gym started somewhere. The only difference between starting and succeeding is showing up and gradually challenging yourself.
Want more guidance on your strength training journey? Listen to the full episode of Nutrition with NiMi wherever you get your podcasts, and follow me on Instagram @nutritionwithnimi for daily tips and inspiration.